Trust
by libgalww
Summary: Faith goes looking for Bosco after Sex, Lies and Videotape


Faith starred at the door in front of her. She didn't remember coming here, neither did she know how long she had been standing in the hallway in front of his door.   
  
After he had left her in the locker room she had stood against the wall and cried. The first real good cry she had had since she had been diagnosed. The look on Bosco's face had run through her head as she tried to get control of herself. There was brief moment were she had thought about someone walking in on her, but she hadn't cared. The memory of Bosco's accusing eyes had been the only thing that mattered to her right then. Somehow she had gotten herself out of the House and started to go home. However, she hadn't gone home to the comforts of a hot shower and a long sleep, she was here, staring at his door.   
  
Faith raised her hand and knocked on the door. Nothing happened, so she knocked again. She waited several seconds and was just about to knock again when she heard the familiar bellow of her partner from inside.  
  
"Go away!"  
  
Her brain screamed at her to do what he said, but her heart rooted her to the floor and made her knock again. This time she knocked louder and a bit longer. She wanted to let him know that she wasn't going away. He could run from her but she wasn't going to be scared away by him. Not anymore. She was going to make sure that they confronted this head-on. The way she should have when the doctor had first told her she was sick. Something deep down inside had been afraid to confront her partner. She hadn't wanted to explain or deal with the consequences of the truth. She told herself that she was now ready to confront him. Did she believe herself though?  
  
"Faith, Go away!" he yelled at her through his door.  
"No," she answered him quietly.  
  
Then she heard noises from inside and the door swung open in front of her. When she pushed at the door, she discovered that Bosco was not on the other side. Faith pushed the door open wide enough to step through and close it behind her. When she scanned the room, she saw that he was sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand and the remote to his TV in the other.  
  
He didn't look at her, he didn't even acknowledge that she had entered the room. She sighed and slipped out of her coat and hat. She threw them over a chair and walked toward him.  
  
"Bosco, I want to talk about what happened. I know that I should have told you but I just didn't know how. Fred isn't handling it very well. Well actually, Fred is acting like nothing is wrong at all. I just wanted work to be someplace that I didn't have to look at people's concerned faces and have them wonder if I was okay or not."  
  
Bosco didn't answer her. He continued to stare at the old movie on TV. She wondered if he was even seeing it. Her heart fell when she realized that he really wasn't going to answer her. Tears began to pool and she blinked furiously to drive them away. She would not cry. Anger hit her suddenly as she watched his jaw moving slightly. He was mad at her, okay she knew that, she got it. Why was she standing here is his place begging him to listen to her. She cracked.  
  
" I can't believe you. I screwed up okay. I'm sorry, but don't you dare think that everything in my life has to be dragged out in that car that we're trapped in ten hours a day. I know you think I should have told you. I probably should have but I can't change that now. I'm sorry I wasn't there today to back you up. I don't know what I would have done if ... I know that you should have been able to count on me."  
  
She stared at his silent form for a second then turned. She could feel the anger inside her, she had to leave or she would end up saying something that could not be taken back. She grabbed her coat roughly and seized the doorknob. She froze in place when she heard him.  
  
"Faith, what if that had been you today instead of me?" He asked her softly.  
"What?" She stammered.   
"What would have happened if that had been you?" He paused, then said, "I would have lost you."  
  
Faith closed her eyes, swallowed hard, and slowly turned around to look at her partner. He had turned slightly on the couch. He wasn't looking at her; instead he was staring intently at the bottle in his hand.  
  
"I don't have much in my life I can count on. My family is pretty much of a lost cause, I guess there really isn't much hope for any on us."   
  
Faith watched Bosco work at the label of the beer with his thumbnail. He slowly looked up at her. She looked in his eyes and saw the same betrayal that they held in the locker room.   
  
"Recently I have been trying to convince myself that I'm good at what I do"  
"Bos..." Faith began.  
  
Bosco raised his hand to stop her. He gave her a sad smile and dipped his head back down to look at his hands. "Stop." Bosco sighed deeply and continued. " Sometimes the only thing that gets my sorry ass out of bed in the morning is because I know that you will be at work when I get there. How could you not trust me?"  
  
Faith couldn't stop the tear that she felt slide down her cheek. She brushed it away with her hand and took a step toward him.  
  
"Bosco, it had nothing to do with not trusting you. I just couldn't handle anything else. Fred and the kids were enough. I just couldn't face you. I couldn't look in your eyes and tell you that I wasn't the same. That I might not be the same person that everyone expects me to be. Jeez, Bos, I'm not the same person. I just don't know what you want me to say."  
  
  
"I could have helped you," He whispered as he raised his head and looked Faith intently in the eyes. "I would have been there for you."  
  
She could see unshed tears in his eyes and she felt a stabbing pain in her chest.   
  
"I'm Sorry, Bos, I'm so sorry."  
  
Faith knelt down in front of Bosco. She looked into his eyes and smiled.  
  
Bosco reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. Faith leaned in toward his shoulder and rested her chin there. She heard him take a breath and exhale painfully because of his ribs. She had almost lost him today in more ways than one.   
  
"Faith, can I go with you to your next treatment?" he asked her quietly.  
  
Faith smiled into his shoulder. They were going to be fine. 


End file.
